BLOG: Typical Friday Night
Posted: 4/2/2012 at 10:41 PM
I break into Maxim at midnight. Do I go for the naked photos of Jennifer Lawrence? No - I go for girl gamer contest votes. They are priceless. As I rig the computers to give me a win, a voter catches me. You are this voter. You tell me to stop, it’s your contest. You are Maximus Im, the Korean founder of Maxim. I say no. We make love all night and repeatedly vote for me. In the morning the cops come, and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell you to meet me in France, but I go to China. I don’t trust you yet. 30 years later I get a postcard from you: I have a son, and he just won the GSL, and he is the President of the United States. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell you to meet me on Battle.net. You go, but I am not there. I have you blocked. You are heartbroken. But you check my profile and I made it into Grand Master on NA Server, which is like ~gold on Korea. Win.